“Ey, you got yourself a fish bizkit! How’d you do that?”

Well ok then.

So. … On a first glance, “A Tale of Two Cities” seems to be plagued with the same flaws as Season 2′s premiere. There’s a handful of great scenes, but they’re part of a story that crawls right along, has a fairly uninvolving Jackback, and focuses on only one piece of the previous finale’s aftermath. However! MoS,MoF was devoted to slowly exploring a bunker, AToTC was devoted to slowly exploring a handful of interesting characters and dynamics. No surprise as to which one I enjoyed more.

First, the opening scene. It completely floored me in every way the Season 2 opening floored everyone else. Even knowing that this Juliet person was a regular this year (I thought the opening might involve her being abducted), and even knowing that The Others weren’t hillbillies at all, I in no way anticipated that they lived in a suburban island neighbourhood. It’s built up to masterfully, Juliet starts to say “on this island” before getting cut off by a strange rattling, everyone gathers, there’s a mountain background, HOLY **** is that Ethan, OMG it’s Henry Gale! It’s Oceanic 815 breaking up in the sky! “Henry” is giving Ethan and Goodwin their orders! Was he anticipating the plane? What’s going on between him and new blonde girl Juliet? Next to the spectacular crash scene from the Pilot, this is my favorite of the season openers.

Juliet goes on to solidify herself as a terrific new addition as the episode goes on. Her private vulnerable moment (what is she upset about?) and her confrontation with the gentleman in the book club start things start off well. After that, I loved all of her interactions with Jack and the way she coolly handled all of his raging. Hints are planted that she may be willing to turn against the Others. Ben after all invites Jack to kill her, and leaves her to die in a flooding underwater station. What could go wrong next time Ben sends her off with the Losties as a double agent? Plus, she’s hilarious! “I’m a repo woman.” I mean, God! Between her, Ben, and Mr. Friendly, the Others are a snarky bunch. And I freaking love it.

Jack is in full on crazy mode, running into glass and hanging off pipes, screaming about his friends. And that’s just his first scene. His flashback shows him obsessing over who Sarah may have left him for. At one point, he suspects his father (not without reason, to be fair), follows him to his Alcoholics Anonymous meeting, and begins berating him mercilessly. “Who is this man, and why is he such a jackass?” the assembled AAers collectively think.

Now, you probably know that I’m not a big fan of Jack when he’s behaving like this, aside from when I can play “Spot the Jackface.” But it’s all worth it at the tail end of the episode. In the flashback, Jack remains in his downward spiral, still demanding to know who Sarah is seeing even after getting arrested and knocking his dad off the wagon. (On the wagon? That Seinfeld episode has eternally confused me.) But when Juliet presents him with a complete dossier on his life, Jack opts to instead ask if Sarah is happy. Very nice. Jack still demonstrates his stubborn, obsessive, entitled side throughout his capture, but it’s fairly justified considering his circumstances. And he’s learned to let go of some important things. It’s been slow, but there’s progress.

The Kate side of things is far less interesting. There’s also a surprisingly unsubtle hint regarding Mr. Friendly’s sexuality, can’t believe I didn’t pick up on it later. And Ben (who has nearly healed completely over the summer) offers what I’m sure is a meta comment about how the “next two weeks are going to be very unpleasant.”

Sawyer is relegated to the comic relief subplot. Aside from a scene in which he escapes, and is tasered by future soulmate Juliet. He’s chucked into a cage and has to work to get some food. Mr. Friendly sees this, and decides to use the opportunity to get into as many YTMNDs as possible. That’s right, it’s the fish bizkit scene, and I cannot tell you just how jarring it is to hear the exchange outside of this:

http://fishbizkit.ytmnd.com/

Aw, look how much they’re enjoying themselves!

Darlton:
Damon: For those of you who don’t want to watch, Criminal Minds is fantastic this year. I hear Mandy Patinkin is going to catch a serial killer next week.

Mee-ow!

Overall, there is a stunning opening scene, the introduction of the show’s all time best female character, some good character development, and fish bizkits galore! Maybe it’s a little watered down, spread a little thin, but not a bad episode. Not bad at all.

Rating: 7.5/10